Chapstick. That’s right, invest in chapstick. It’s gotta be the fancy kind with fancy gimmicks: exotic ingredients, SPF95, different scents and flavors. Why? Because people are ALWAYS FREAKIN’ LOSING them! Have you EVER finished a chapstick? Didn’t think so. People will always need chapstick. Especially with global warming and uv rays and aliens. I made it a point to buy a stick of “ChapStick” ™ and NOT lose it and use it ALL up. I mean, until there is no more wax in the darn thing.
I did it. Of the millions of lip balms/chapsticks I’ve purchased, I finally finished ONE. I won the lotto. I am happy.
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