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http://lifestyle.msn.com/chan_printarticle.aspx?cp-documentid=5660256

Why Can’t He Hear What You’re Saying?

Read on for insight into why men misinterpret what we say — and how you can make yourself heard.

By Bryan Stipe

This post is just regurgitation.. check out the link for the full article!  Here’s a couple excerpts that have already become classics in my book:

At that moment, I became a walking marriage cliché. You know the cliché I’m talking about. It goes: My wife speaks a strange alien tongue that I, no matter how hard I try, am too dumb to learn. It was one of those moments when you identify with that line from Knocked Up: “Marriage is an unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond.”

But there’s a reason the cliché exists: A lot of the time we guys do need help in the “What the heck are you talking about?” department. The Everybody Loves Raymond way of explaining this phenomenon is that we men are too thick to read between the lines. And, okay, this is kind of true. Kristen will try to tell me in every possible way about presents she’d like me to get for her. She might say, “Hey, those earrings are nice!” And nine times out of 10, I do not copy. I might think, Wow, she really likes to talk about jewelry a lot or Wow, does she not realize that I’m not a woman and that I don’t care about earrings? Maybe if I’m quiet for long enough she’ll change the subject.… 

Lost in Translation
What he really hears when your lips are moving. You say: “Ugh, my boss is horrible. I had the worst day.”
You mean: “I really need to vent about my day.”
He hears: “Tell me how to fix my relationship with my boss.” You say: “Hey, can we talk?”
You mean: “I have something important to tell you.”
He hears: “You screwed up, buddy.”You say: “Oh, those shoes don’t go with that belt. Why don’t you wear the brown ones?”
You mean: “I just want to help you look good.”
He hears: “Aw, the widdle baby can’t dwess himself!”

You say: “Let’s straighten up in here.”
You mean: “Let’s straighten up in here.”
He hears: “I resent that you’re a pig.”

You say: “I’m so sorry you had such a rough day. You must feel terrible.”
You mean:“I want you to know I empathize with you.”
He hears: “I feel sorry for you, you sad sack of a man.”

You say: “Do you think that woman’s hot?”
You mean: “Tell me that I’m hot.”
He hears: “DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DO NOT ANSWER!”
 

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